The Princess Jock Killer Diaries

The End 2

2005-10-19T12:30:00.000+01:00

When ghetto posted i remembered why i decided not to blog in the first place, if i do make another blog it'll be for real life people only and plops, I think i won't post again for another few months if at all.

You people don't realise how lame Islamica and the circle of islamica related blogs is, such a shame, try to fill your boredom with a new hobby, go to the mosque, meet some one new, stay away from pakistanis, learn a new language. if you had spent the hours you spent on islamica learning Arabic you'd understand large parts of the Quran.

Hmmmmmm maybe i'm ranting, i don't have insomnia anymore my last 3 nights have been very peaceful, thank Allah for accepting someone's duas.

I leave you with the words of the greatest man who never existed;

If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex*. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned ....... Tyler

* For daawah.

Salam if you want to speak to me i'll be on msn unless i've blocked you (very likely)

Hi

2005-10-13T03:05:00.000+01:00

I have insomnia, it sucks, i know i said i wouldn't update this blog but bleh.

I'm just going to write random stuff bare with me;

I like Manchester it's cool it has nice lights, i feel like i'm part of something, I've met some nice people here.

Sometime's i think evil is caused by the souls of dead animals we have eaten, getting their revenge.

The most interesting thing about me is that i study Japanese.

I think it's about time Margaret Thatcher died, i think she's a bitch.

I like babies and women, one day i'd like to make babies with a woman.

I used to want to be rich, but not anymore, though i'd like the new ipod that plays videos.

I think Germany's new chancellor is going to be a bitch.

Once in my lectures i got so bored i wrote a poem;

10 Week Detox

Week 1; Hardworking, Dedicated, Workaholic.

Week 2; Unwavering, Resolute, Still excited.

Week 3; Target set, Target met, Time efficient.

Week 4; Target set, Target met, Time efficient.

Week 5; Target set, Target met…………

Week 6; Boring, Repetitive, Monotonic.

Week 7; Binge drinking, Wasted, Alcoholic.

Week 8; Self destructive, Fucked up, Nihilistic.

Week 9; Desperate, Pointless, Life’s traumatic.

Week 10; Farewell, Goodbye, I’ll be hanging in the attic.

It's pretty depressing and crap but meh.

People say i'm quite and don't talk enough, i find those people boring.

I love Muslims and humans in general, but people tend to be asshole's which i don't like.

It's 2.45 am now i went to bed at 1.00 got out at 2.20 am cos i couldn't sleep.

I'm glad the net is a anonymous, cos if i said the stuff i said in this post in real life i'd sound like a pussy.

I love Liverpool fc, the happiest moment in my life was when they won the European cup this year, some people would think that's sad.

I would like to sleep now........ but i probably won't.

My favourite movie is Fight Club, i wish Project mayhem was real.

I think racists are pretty stupid, i also hate zionists and conservatives and the right in general.

Right now i feel pretty useless.

I used to have cool dreams where i was in Jurrasic park or something... i don't have those anymore.

My best mate is a hindu, i barely see him he's in a diferent city, but i talk to him on msn.

I would post my picture online but i'm afraid someone would come across it and hunt me down and stalk me, i'm paranoid like that. If you do want to see my pic ask for my msn add.

I like black people, they're cool.

By the time you've finished reading this post you'll probably know more about me than my mother, actually she's seen alot of stuff you probably won't see. My mum spent hours in labour for me which i think is great.

I've been listening to alot of radiohead recently.

I wrote another poem it's called Insomnia

Insomnia:

zzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzz

I think i'm going to publish this post, i'm going to regret in the morning when i'm sane again.

This is the end......

2005-06-01T12:51:00.000+01:00

The end has come, i wrote a poem;

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I’ll never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger’s hand
In a...desperate land

Lost in a roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

There’s danger on the edge of town
Ride the king’s highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby

Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...he’s old, and his skin is cold

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we’ll do the rest

The blue bus is callin’ us
The blue bus is callin’ us
Driver, where you taken’ us

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...i want to...Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

C’mon baby, take a chance with us
C’mon baby, take a chance with us
C’mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin’ a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin’ a blue rock
C’mon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But you’ll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end

Actually i didn't write this, it was The Doors in the sixties or seventies, but it's a fitting tribute to the end of my great blog, with some exceptions of course, i don't consider any of you to be my friends and i don't want to kill my father, apart from that it's good.

Goodbye!!!!!!!!

Happiness

2005-05-05T01:45:00.000+01:00

On Tuesday my team Liverpool FC beat Premiership champions Chelsea to reach the Champions League final for the first time in 20 years, needless to say I was euphoric, I've been waiting my whole life to see this and it still hasn't sunk in.

Also on Wednesday my favourite guy on the Apprentice, Tim (also a Liverpool fan) won. He and Sir Alan Sugar his new boss have been added to my list of 'awesomest people ever', Paul from the Apprentice has also made the cut and James recieves a honourable mention. Also joining me and Mo Fayed and the apprentice lads are the entire Liverpool team, I love you guys, you've done me proud.

With all the new additions you're probably wandering how to keep track of everyone so i've decided to list every one :

Mohammed Al Fayed
Me
Sir Alan Sugar
Tim from Apprentice
Paul from Apprentice
Raphael Benitez (I love you)
Steven Gerrard ( I love you too)
Jamie Carragher ( I love you the most)
Sanz Luis Garcia ( Also loved)
The rest of the Liverpool team ( All equally loved)

Now i understand there are many losers reading this, if you are one of them print off this list and stick it somewhere where you'll see it, it should inspire you tobe more like us awesome people, nobodies perfect and the chance's are you'll never be as awesome as me or any of the others, but regardless you should apire to be like those awesomer than you.

Jazakallah

Thank you for reading

Ps: Elections today!!!!!!!

Pussy Men

2005-04-17T17:22:00.000+01:00

You're a pussy man if:

If your sole reason for getting educated is to get a better job to pull a wife with.
You change your personality to pull women and to keep your woman happy.
You let your wife rule you.
You don't change wives atleast once every 5 months.
You wear flash clothes but you don't cough up when you're eating out.
You spend little if any money on charitable cause's but spend loads of meaningless jestures like Valentines day, anniversaries etc.
You're a skinny little shit but act like you can beat up anyone.
You put down those cooler than you just to make yourself feel better.
You see some guy bigger than you pushing loads of weights at the gym and you decide to push more and end up embarassing yourself.
You pick on those smaller than you to make yourself better.

The list is by no means exhaustive.

Pussy men are willing to forfiet every bit of their maculinity to get laid/get women, they are dangerous, if we awesome masculine men do nothing about them they will disenfranchise us further until we're forced to push babies out of our [use your imagination]

I hate pussy men, if you are a pussy man don't talk to me or I will get angry.

FAQ

What can we do to stop pussy men?

Beat them up.
Beat them up some more.

I am a pussy man, how do i stop being one (a Pussyman)?

Die
Eat more red meat
Eat children
Push weights
Watch Fight Club

You Sexist chauvinistic piece of crap, i'm a fat feminist pussy men make me feel powerful!

That is not a question

Dude you're just jealous cos you can't get chicks!

If you're writing this you're probably a pussy man, your opinions don't matter.

People who piss me off

2005-04-03T17:09:00.000+01:00

I hate it when people you don't know add you to their MSN list, then when you ask them who they are the don't answer and immediately ask who you are, observe;

Professor Chaos - Bringer of destruction and doom (me) - Hi do i know you?

Asshole786 - Who are you?

Professor Chaos - Bringer of destruction and doom: My name's Shafik, you just added me, who are you?

Asshole786- No.

Professor Chaos - Bringer of destruction and doom - That doesn't make sense, ,How did you get my e-mail address?

Asshole786 appears to be offline and may not reply

Conratulations Asshole786 you're now blocked and deleted you missed out on getting to know the most awesomest guy ever since Mohammed Al Fayed, because you were an asshole.

Simmilar things happen in real life, those of you who know me will know that I hate women, short people, chubby people, ugly people and Indians, I especially hate ugly short chubby Indian women. By coincedence I happened to work with a ugly short chubby Indian girl during the Christmas period.

She started off being really friendly, she probably wanted me to mack with her to boost her self esteem like the other losers I worked with did, but I didn't. (Jockkillers Law: If you're going to do haram by macking on a girl/boy you might aswell mack with a hot girl/boy, it's the same amount of haramness but more fun) Anyway at the beggining she was always trying to make conversation with me;

*Bob Marley Playing*

Ugly Short Chubby Indian Girl - Yo Shafik (My real name is not Princess Jock Killer) I love Bob Marley, what about you?

Me - *couldn't give a f*** voice* He's alright.

Anyways after a month of monotonous conversation like the one above, she comes out with;

Ugly Short Chubby Indian Girl - What was your name again?

Me - Harinder

You know my name, but you choose to 'forget' it because it makes you feel more important, STFU Biatch I Rule and you're a crappy sales woman. She felt stupid and i continued to be awesome. Yet another person who missed out on my awesomeness by being an asshole.

Okay i've forgot the point of this post and i'm to lazy to scroll up and see what it's about, since we're on the topic of ugly chicks , i'd like to talk about a topic very close to my heart, fat chicks, it cause's my heart to ache everytime i see a fat chick who could be hot if she lost the weight, why can't they work up the will power to lose that weight.

Now i'm all teary eyed, now i'm thinking about all those poor children in Africa who could eat the food the fat chick doesn't eat if she went on a diet. Poor children, they'll probably be recruited for some millitia to fight in their countries civil war and end up dying, why? Just cos of some fat chick.

Man i'm making my self sad, plus the Pope is dead. The only thing keeping me going at the moment is knowing how awesome I am, in fact to cheer my self up i'm adding my self to the list of most awesomest people ever, so that's me and Mohammed al Fayed.

Mohammed Al Fayed is so Awesome!!!

2005-04-02T14:08:00.000+01:00

It's true he's frikkin unbelievably awesome, he called Tony Blair a 'cock sucker' and Prince Phillip ' a crocodile' on tv, this guy has no bounds, he's an anarchist plus he's real rich, and he has his own private plane! How awesome is that! Plus he's Muslim, a rich Muslim anarchist that's like the coolest combination ever.

Plus he has a parade every year outside harrods and he gives old couples viagra pills when he see's them in Harrods, this guy is helping old people live better lives which just adds to his incredibilityness.

Ever since I was a little girl i dreamed of being a rich muslim anarchist, inshallah oneday i'll realise my dream, he's my newest hero I will spend my life aspiring to be like him.

This guy enters my list of awesomest people ever, thats a great achievement, i'm not a guy who's easily impressed.

Spitting

2005-03-20T01:46:00.000Z

Have you seen the way sportsmen spit, it's so fast and clean. Whenever i try spitting during a game of football the spit is real thick and ends up sticking to my chin, then i try wiping it away with my hands but then it gets even messier, i have to wait until i get home to clean the spit off.

The answer to all problems.

2005-02-27T20:40:00.000Z

In the good old days Islamica used to be quite fun, i'd log on check out some of the posts, have arguments with fobs or paki nationalists and log out again happy, but recently there has been a barrage of people posting their woes and problems for all of us to read, this can get quite depressing. There's one guy that's got debts, there's another who can't get married, there's a 12 year old teenybopper worried her 27 year old fiancee is cheating on her.

You see it's depressing having to hear everybodies problems when your own life is real crap, with all the bad stuff happening in the world; war, global warming, poverty, natural disasters etc the last thing you want to hear about is about some poor sod who's wife can't cook biryani. Then i discovered something really simple that would solve every problem.

So what is this revolutionary solution? Well its actually quite simple, next time your mother tells you she's getting you hitched to your forty year old cousin from Karachi or your college MSA President tells you he's shia , just die, it really is that simple, scientific evidence has shown all our problems end when you die.

Just imagine the favour you will be doing the world if you decide to die today, statistics show that if every TeENyBoPPeR WhO TyPeD LiKe Diz..... LoLZ were to die today; illiteracy would decrease significantly and the number of obese teenyboppers would half overnight, granted they'd be dead but would you rather be fat or dead?

With such advantages it's hard to find a reason not to die right now, however if you decide not to take my advice take a moment to think and ask yourself is it really necessary to make retarded threads detailing your petty little problem, do you have to pollute internet forums with threads about suspecting your 13 year old fiance of not wearing hijab or how your Hyderabadi mother will only let you marry a fair skinned, medical student? If the answer to any of the above questions is yes either shut the hell up or reconsider my advice.

Thanks

PS; never take anything i say seriously, for your own safety.

I have nothing to say.

2005-02-26T17:33:00.000Z

So it's day 2 of this blogging thing, and there's one big problem, i have nothing to talk about. Every so often i get a brilliant idea for a post but then i say forget it, i'll rather save my good stuff for when i'm presenting my own TV Talkshow instead of wasting my genius on you retards. Also if my own personal experience has taught me anything it's that no one ever reads beyond the first paragraph of.

You see that i just ended the previous paragraph in the middle of a sentence, did any of you retards notice, i bet not, i don't really care if you pay attention to me or not but i feel sorry for those hard working losers that spend hour upon hour writing about stuff no one cares about. If you're anything like me you'd quickly scan through the post looking out for exciting words like chick, hot, hot chicks, etc, upon failure to find any exciting word you'd probably scan for pictures, photo's are always exciting on the net even if the person/building/toilet etc you're looking at looks like your average person/building/toilet, if you don't find any pictures you'll turn to teenybopper mode and look for sentence's that contain smiley's or stupid words like teeeheee or LOLZ or LMAO after that if you don't find anything you'll log back in to Islamica to check if anybodies given you rep points in the 5 minutes you were away.

What's your point you ask? My point is I have no point , i'm just rambling on about something i probably won't remember tomorrow but somewhere in the world; in America, Canada, great Britain etc there are people spending hours checking grammer, going to dictionary.com back and forth and making posts that no one really cares about. Stop boring me with details about your boring existence instead post pictures of hot chicks that'll make me happy.

Asalam Alaykum

2005-02-26T09:23:00.000Z

Hi there losers, it seems everybody and his dog is getting a blog nowadays so i decided to get one for myself, i know what you're thinking; didn't you already have a blog? Yeh, well it sucked and i couldn't be bothered updating it, none of you care what i think and you'll only take me seriously when i'm mowing down old ladies with a stolen rickshaw.

If you're expecting me to write an incredibly thoughtful thesis on the effect of partial nudity on the decline of the Ottoman Khilafah, you're probably going to be dissappointed, instead expect alot of poor grammer,poor spelling, incoherent and hate filled posts, and remember aslong as i think i rock your opinions don't really matter.

I'm going to sleep in a few minutes and inshallah i will have a dream about hot chicks, so i'm going to leave you all with answers to commonly asked questions about my self;

Are you gay?

No i am not, i like women that look like men, theres a big difference.